what if I jumped,

would I plummet or fly? I wish I'd have tried.         

I think about killing myself everyday. 

I look out the window at niagara falls and am infatuated by how powerful the current pushes over the edge and the voice in my head tells me to just finally let go and let the current take over me. How peaceful a thought.

I gaze on at the Eiffel tower on top of my roof and it's my birthday and I fantasize about this being the last thing I see. How peaceful. How beautiful. Yes! It would be my pleasure.

I write letters to the ones I love because I want to let them know that they're important and pure unlike me. 

I don't know why the voice tells me these things but I hear it every day. I'm so tired. I can't even enjoy something beautiful without wondering if i'd be content if it's the last thing I see or if it's the thing that kills me. 

Wish I could be reborn. wish i could rid myself of this demon I can't shake its viber. I hear it - this tint that dyes my eyes. 

Someone please help me. PLEASE HELP ME.